54-year-old mom gives her 28-year-old son 90 days to leave the house after years of rejected opportunities

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  • Concerned woman standing in a kitchen reading her smartphone with a worried expression.
  • I'm 54F finally kicking out my son 28M

    I 54F, have a son who will soon be 28M. I am separated from his father, I am financially independent and I live much of the time outside of Canada.
  • My son, who is technically my stepson, is living in my house in Canada. I have raised him since he was about four as we were the primary household, although his biological mom is also in the picture. When his father and I
  • separated over 6 years ago, he chose to stay in the house with me and his younger sister 18F due to a complicated relationship with their father.
  • He had the option to go to college or university, with school fully paid for by me. He chose not to go. He had the option to go travel for a year, supported financially by me. He chose not to do that.
  • He spends every day in the basement with his girlfriend drinking alcol, vaping and ordering take out. He works occasionally at a de d-end job, but never full time.... maybe 15 or 20 hours a week. I question if he's worked at all in the last year
  • He was given his father's old car at 18 which was in excellent running condition. He never took care of it and now it sits in the driveway rusting away.
  • Woman holding a glass of water in a kitchen while checking her smartphone by a bright window.
  • He is responsible for paying a couple of bills and his car insurance, which he does otherwise those utilities would be cut off (internet and gas) since I made him put them in his name.
  • He is also expected to take care of the yard and cut the grass, which he does only when he absolutely has to maybe once every 6 weeks.
  • Recently, I've asked him to move out July 1st giving him almost 90 days notice. I've told him I have $5,000 put away for him to get set up in his own place, that I will pay it to a landlord only though.
  • I've been made aware that he might be selling some items out of the house that are not his .. and actually not even mine, but his sister's things. I haven't confirmed that yet, but we have had problems in the past where he assumed things were his just because we weren't there using them.
  • Woman standing in a modern kitchen holding a glass of water while looking at her smartphone.
  • He isn't talking to me much (again I live in a different country) and I assume he thinks I'm the bad guy for asking him to leave. That kids should be able to live with their parents for
  • as long as they want. That things are so tough for their generation , rent is expensive, they can't get jobs etc etc etc. I've heard him say things types of comments previously.
  • I feel terrible that he's being put in this situation while he has no independent life skills, but how long am I expected to support him like this?
  • I love him to the moon. He's a gentle sweet soul who loves animals and treats people well. I'm proud of many of his qualities. I'm very concerned about his drinking and mental health.
  • His mother isn't in a position to support him financially, and the situation with his father is ab...ive so I would hate to see him go there. The only thing is I don't want to support him any longer, as he will never be independent if I don't cut the cord. I want to do something else with the house.. either rent it or sell it.
  • His 18 year old sister is happily living independently (with roommates) and working to make her own money (with some financial cushion from me).
  • Looking for feedback as to how to handle this situation from a young adults perspective. I want to be supportive to him but I can't keep enabling him to be like this. It would k I me to see
  • something bad happen to him if I make him leave, but on the other hand watching him drink himself to death in the basement would be no picnic either.
  • I'm just looking for some guidance, from a young personas prospective in particular.
  • TD;LR Would like feedback from young adults' perspective about making my 28M son to move out of the house.

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